As 2009 burns down to and end, many people reflect on the past year and look forward the hope that a new year brings.  I enjoy the enthusiasm that others share at this time of year.  It feels like we are all in this together.  We all want to be better people, we want to bring more joy into our lives and we all want to love in a stronger way.  If even just for a few days we are holding each others’ hands and saying, “Go for it”!

My year has been challenging but I’ve recieved so many blessings.  I can’t say I’m glad for this year to end, so I will take the hope and gifts I’ve received this year into the next.  I will remember that the hard times all brought opportunities that I am grateful for.  I will also remember that love conquers all.   My family and friends have actively expressed so much love this year.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen so much love in action before.

If you want to join me tomorrow in the “Oh My Word” mission, please leave a comment here  and join the Facebook page where we’ll be sharing.  If you’re not on Facebook and don’t want to join, I will be posting the prompts here, too, but it’s more organized over there.

The first prompts will be posted tomorrow, so be sure and choose your word so you can start the new year with lots of encouragement and enthusiasm from each other to make that word YOURS in 2010!

As promised here is a picture of the necklace my son made for me.  Isn’t it beautiful?  And one of a kind that no one but me owns!

Here are the bracelets I made while Paige was here.  They are plastic bangle bracelets that I covered with tissue paper, rhinestones, and some have glitter, too.

My son was here the past three days.  It was so wonderful to spend time with him.  His girlfriend is very creative and we got to spend some great time in the studio.  It is so much more fun to do creative things when you have someone to share it with. She made a beautiful box… wish I had taken a picture of it before they left.  She inspired me to make these super cool bracelets.  They are still drying but I’ll show pictures later.

Last year my son went to school to learn silver engraving.  He is just starting his business, but he’s doing great.  He made me a beautiful necklace for Christmas.  I tried to take a picture of it tonight but the light isn’t right. I’ll take one tomorrow in the daylight so you can see how pertty it is!   While he was here, I worked on his logo and business cards for his business as well as for his friend who does custom leather work.

This is Laddan’s card.  I think they turned out pretty nice.   This image is blurry, but the name of his company is Son of a Gun Silver.

This is his friend, Brody’s, card.  His logo is one that he had just drawn by hand.  So to get it really sharp looking, Mister created it in Autocad.  It was a family project.

[I dont know why these pictures won't line up right.  I'm working on sorting it out!]

We had planned for all our kids and my sister’s family to be here for Christmas.  But a rare blizzard squashed those plans!  No one was able to get here for Christmas. Not even the relatives that live 45 miles away.  But Randy and I still enjoyed our first Christmas as a married couple.  We opened our presents on Christmas Eve.

As much as I hated that the ice and snow kept our kids from coming, it is beautiful!  You can see how deep it is on our BBQ grill.

You can see how deep it is on our bbq grill

This is our front yard looking across the street at a neighbor who apparently lost control of their car in the driveway.

Here you can see the drifts agains the garage.

Today my younger son flew in.  Mister is gone to the airport to pick them up!!!  I’m cooking Christmas dinner and looking forward to some family time!!

I would like to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas.  I hope that 2010 brings you health, happiness and lots of laughter.

Here is a beautiful image by Durer.  Click on the small image to go to a larger one you can download and use.

I have had this amazing surge in creative inspiration the past few days.  I think it’s because I cleaned my studio.  That means less chaos around me allows the creative flow. But it also means that I want it to stay clean for my holiday guests, so I “shouldn’t” make a mess in there.  That sets off my rebellious nature, so I suddenly just have to create now!

Several years ago I ordered these rusty bells from Oriental Trading Company and I haven’t known what to do with them.  Last night I saw this star that’s been hanging on the back of my closet door for a long time, and realized they would make a great door hanger.  I used fabric scraps from the stockings I made to cut ribbon.  It took just a few minutes but it’s so primitive and cute!

The star is made of real bark.  It’s very raw and has lots of texture.

I think I hung the bells too close together, so may need to reglue them.

I really wish I could take a better picture of this.  The paint in this picture looks real splotchy and it is from the flash I guess, because it doesn’t look that way really.  Anyway, it was a cardboard ribbon spool.  I wrapped jute twine around it, and made beads and lines with a glue gun.  Then I painted it with acrylic and metallic paints.  It looks like metal.  I’m going to use it to put a candle on top.  I really like it because it looks very heavy and worn, and it’s just flimsy cardboard!

I wrote on the last page of  my current journal last night.  The cover on it is one of my favorite’s.  Writing in my journal is such an effective way for me to sort out reality from the crazy thoughts in my head.  As thoughts circle around my mind, thinking only sucks me into the whirlpool. But writing helps me get it out so I can organize them.  Once they are organized I can determine what is important, what is just crap and what needs attention.  Journal writing has kept me sane for a long time.

I am starting a new journal today, in anticipation of the “Oh My Word” Mission for 2010.  If you don’t know about it, you can read it here.  My word for next year is Acceptance.  I chose that word because I want to learn to accept myself just as I am today.  All of me.  But since choosing the word, I’m finding out that it is also about my accepting others.  Just as you can’t love others if you dont’ love yourself, you can’t accept others if you don’t accept yourself.  It is going to be an interesting year to discover all I don’t know about acceptance.

If you are participating in the Oh My Word mission with me, be sure you have a blank book of some sort to write in, OR a blog.  As I offer ways to focus on your word, you will need a place to record your reactions and thoughts.  I know several of you have posted your word, but if you dont’ have a word yet, just remain open.  Spend some quiet time listening.  I know that seems impossible right now with the holiday activities, but it only takes a few mins to listen.  While you’re driving, or brushing your teeth, just focus on being open and ready to hear your word.

Today’s challenge is “What’s the best change you made to the place you live”?

We’ve made a lot of changes since I moved in but the best change for me is that we made an unused bedroom into an art studio.  Here are a couple of shots of what it looked like before.

This was a closet that we removed.  We patched cracked plaster, sanded, painted and built shelves here.

This is the ceiling coming down to the wall.  The wall was a gross pinky orange color.

Here’s some shots of it now.

This is where the closet was with the shelves we installed.  That little door that was inside the closet is now painted with Alice.

This is my work table.

This is my first studio ever with room enough for all my things to be organized and still have room to move around and have several projects going at a time.  It is bright and warm and a wonderful, creative place!

I haven’t been keeping up with this blog challenge very well.  Even though it’s late I’m posting a response to today’s prompt, which is:

“Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?”

Reflecting back over the year, there were several challenges but the most challenging situation I found myself in was a not so pleasant one.  I lived upstairs from my sister and brother-on-law. My sister was out of town and called me to see if I would go check on her husband because he wasn’t answering the phone.   She was still on the phone when I went downstairs, taking the phone with me.  When I found my brother-in-law, he has passed away.  I believe the hardest thing I”ve ever had to do was tell my sister that her husband had died.

A million things went through my mind during those seconds that passed before I spoke.  She was keeping her three grandchildren, one of whom was just a few months old.  I worried if she would be able to care from them once she heard the news.  Finally, I realized that I had to tell her because she’s on the phone waiting to talk to him.  There was nothing I could say except the truth.  Strangely enough, I went out into the hallway, and sort of whispered to her, “Judy, he’s dead.”  I’m not sure why I was so secretive about it.

The next several hours that followed continued to be challenging.  I called the police and they came soon with the paramedics.  They questioned me over and over about what had happened, and informed me that it was a crime scene and would remain so until the determined what had happened.  My brother-in-law was like my dad.  My parents  died when I was young and he and my sister basically raised me from the time I was 16.  So, I was devastated that he was gone, and yet had to maintain my composure to answer their questions and make sure I did what was necessary, in my sister’s absence.

Their daughter came right away, and later that evening my sister flew back home.  I knew I had to be supportive for them and did my best to have the strength I needed to help them through this tragedy.  But the thought of  my brother-in-law lying there wouldn’t leave my mind.

I wondered why it had happened the way it did.  As the weeks passed, little answers came to me.  There are many gifts that came from that event.  Not the least of which was that I saw the peace on his face.  I knew without a doubt that he had laid down and fallen asleep and just not awakened.  I had the gift of telling that to his family.  My sister felt guilt about being gone when he died.  But she was able to let go of the guilt when I described to her how peaceful he looked.  I knew she was imagining that he had suffered and that if she had been there, she might have been able to keep him from suffering.  Being the one to give her the truth and alleviate her guilt was a huge blessing to us both.

Challenges are not something most of us welcome, but if we  look for the gifts within them, they are nearly always there.  I feel so honored that God chose me to be there when my brother-in-law died.  I feel that he and I shared a moment that is so spiritual it can’t be explained in mere words.  The hardest moment of my life turned out to be one of the most special.

Since I was very young, I longed for a life of peace and harmony. I saw families in movies where no one yelled and people didn’t have fights and arguments. I wanted that, but had no idea if it existed in reality, and I had no clue how to go about getting it for myself.

Now I find myself living that very life. A dream come true. And yet, it is challenging because I don’t how to function without chaos, fear and uncertainty. My life is predictable and easy. I can’t imagine anything more wonderful, but I don’t know what to do with it. I find myself looking for things that might be wrong, or might go wrong. On a subconscious level, I think I’m expecting the chaos to begin at any moment.

Reminding myself of the truth has become a ritual for me. Harmony has truly come to me. I tell myself that I can relax and just enjoy this new life. They say that farthest distance is from the head to the heart, and this truth hasn’t quite made it to my heart yet. Enjoying the peace and relaxing is such a wonderful place to be, but suddenly some unexpected negative thought or emotion will jump in, as if I just cannot allow myself to accept that this is okay for me.

It reminds me of a group of women I worked with as a student during one of my clinical internships in occupational therapy school. I was at Terrell State Hospital in TX. For one of my projects, I chose 8 women who had been institutionalized for a decade or more. These women had no social skills. They were dirty, rude and unkempt. I spent my three months there helping them learn personal hygiene, politeness, table manners, etc. As they progressed, I taught them how to apply lipstick and select nice dresses from the community clothing closet. For the finale, we planned a tea. They would host a small tea for some of the staff and other patients.

I was so proud when all the ladies in my group showed up with clean clothes, clean hair and they readily set the tables with napkins and untensils. When the guests were seated, my ladies sat down and put their napkins in their laps. I was bursting with pride when one of them removed her false teeth, sat them on the table and began eating!

I sometimes feel like that lady. I’ve come a long way in accepting my peace filled life, but every once in a whle I forget where I am and just lay my teeth on the table.