I am late with this post, which ties in perfectly with my word for this year.  Acceptance.

I suck at a lot of stuff.  Really.  Especially if it has to do with follow through, commitment or responsibility.  I used to call myself undisciplined and immature.  But since I’ve been practicing acceptance I just call myself Zura Beth

Focusing on the word acceptance, and ways that I can bring it into my life has already brought about some changes.  Nothing earth shattering, but subtle changes that indicate it’s working to try to be more accepting of myself.

So, I am going to accept that I didn’t post this March update until the 13th of March.  And I’m going to accept that I can’t find the paper where I wrote the activities for each month.  And instead of posting an activity, I am going to ask you to do something.  Will you leave a comment on this post and let me know if you are seeing any results from focusing on the word you chose for this year?  If not, do you think you know why not?  I’d love to hear from you and know how it’s going with your word mission so far.

Are you ready for a new activity for this month?  I hope you are beginning to really focus on bringing (fill in your word here) into your life.

This month we are going to write a personal mission statement about bringing our words into our everyday lives.

I found these great guidelines for writing a personal mission statement at http://timethoughts.com.

Writing a Personal Mission Statement A personal mission statement is a brief description of what you want to focus on, what you want to accomplish and who you want to become in a particular area of your life over the next one to three years. It is a way to focus your energy, actions, behaviors and decisions towards the things that are most important to you. Personal Mission Statement Guidelines While there is no unique format or formula for creating your personal mission statement, the following guidelines may be helpful: Keep it simple, clear and brief. The best mission statements tend to be 3 to 5 sentences long. Your mission statement should touch upon what you want to focus on and who you want to become as a person (character) in this part of your life. Think about specific actions, behaviors, habits and qualities that would have a significant positive impact in this part of your life over the next one to three years. Make sure your mission statement is positive. Instead of saying what you don’t want to do or don’t want to be, say what you do want to do or become. Find the positive alternatives to any negative statements. Include positive behaviors, character traits and values that you consider particularly important and want to develop further. Think about how your actions, habits, behavior and character traits in this area affect the important relationships in your life. Create a mission statement that will guide you in your day-to-day actions and decisions. Make it a part of your everyday life. Think about how your mission affects the other areas of your life. Is it consistent with your other personal mission statements? Will it conflict with or contradict something else? Is it balanced? Make it emotional. Including an emotional payoff in your mission statement infuses it with passion and will make it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing. Remember that your mission statement is not cast in stone. It will continue to change and evolve as you gain insights about yourself and what you want out of each part of your life.

They also offer examples that I have changed to meet our purpose.  You might choose one of these to formulate your mission statement.

“I value  (word).. because …[reasons why this word are is important to you]. Accordingly, I will …[what you can do to live by this word."

"To develop and cultivate the qualities of ...(your word)..  so that ...[why you want to develop the quality this word represents].”

“To live each day with ..(word)… so that …[what living by this word will give you].”

“To appreciate and enjoy …[what your word will bring to you] by …[what you can do to appreciate/enjoy these things].”

“To be known as someone who is …[word]“

My word for 2010 is acceptance.  Focusing on this word has brought so much awareness to me already.  I am surprised at how much I’ve learned about myself through thinking about accepting myself, and journaling my thoughts and emotions on this idea.

Today I had quite a breakthrough about one area where acceptance has been a struggle for me.  Since I chose the word acceptance I’ve also been thinking that I want to accept myself so that I can be authentic.  For such a long time I’ve wanted to be as free as others seem to be.  I’ve felt that I should change and be like others, but a revelation came to me today that makes me think maybe this is not something I need to change.

In general, I feel that before I just say something right out, share something, respond to someone or answer a question, I need to read the atmosphere or the people/person’s body language.  I feel odd that I’m this way because it appears to me that most people, unless they are shy, say what they want and don’t worry as much as I do about how people will react.

I’ve been striving to accept myself since we started this On My Word mission.  In striving to accept myself I have thought that if I do accept myself just as I am, then I will say whatever I want without being concerned how anyone reacts.  So my goal has been to say whatever I want and not care what anyone thinks of it.

This revelation, though, has given me two new perceptions.  One is that rather than accepting, once again I’m asking myself to change. To say “don’t worry about what people think”  is saying I need to change.  Acceptance means nothing has to change, so my thoughts on this has been counter-productive.  The other thing is that I’ve never allowed myself to believe that being concerned with people’s reactions is okay.  The places I’ve lived most of my life, that was a prudent thing to do.  I had to be vigilant to protect myself  from harm.

Some would say that I should give up the vigilence now that I’m no longer in that environment.  But living in fear mold a person the same way living in a house filled with books mold one.  Or the way one is molded if two languages are spoken in their home.  It gets woven into who you are.  You can’t undo it and become someone else.  I will probably never be able to interact and have no care about the person I’m interacting with.

The beauty is that this “flaw” has given me a gift.  Being so in tune to others has given me empathy, made me a good listener and made me good at paying attention to people.  I don’t want to change, i.e., get rid of my vigilance and thus lose these gifts. I think I can finally accept that my hypervigilance is just a part of me that has served me well in the past and has given me gifts that have benefited others, too.

If I become ready to let it go, I will, but I’m no longer going to criticize myself for being who I am.

I made a new journal for the On My Word mission.   For the past several months I’ve gone back to using cheap composition books for my journal.  I find that I work more readily if I don’t pay much for the journal.  When I use watercolor paper or a more expensive sketch book,  it makes me feel like I have to make each page really count for something.  That’s not the point of a journal for me.  The point is to express my emotions, explore what’s going on inside, and document my life.  So, the comp books allow me to just express myself without worrying about “wasting” pages.

This is the cover I created for the new year.  My word is acceptance and I’m aiming to totally accept myself, just as I am right now.  I’m tired of trying to be better; trying to be like someone else; trying to be what someone else wants me to be.  I’ve spent a great deal of my adult life trying to improve.  And I have.  I have changed some things about myself that I wanted to change.  But now I’m ready to just be me.  If I never change another thing about myself, I want to be okay with that.  So, the cover represents the masks that I wear or try to wear, and how I am ready to shed them all.

Over the past few years I have chosen some women to “watch” and learn from.  Women that seem confident in who they are, and who accept themselves.  These women are not perfect, they have flaws just as we all do.  But they don’t seem to have the fear of others not approving of them, that I have.   So, here’s to bravery and boldness in my life, and my actions.  Sharing this with you, my readers, is a step in being authentic for me.

Day 1 of the Oh My Word mission.

I am looking for ways to define acceptance and apply it to myself.  I want to truly accept myself.  This is very difficult for me. So hard, in fact, that I’ve only attempted it in small steps in the past.  But this year, I truly want to learn to love myself and quit waiting for me to change into something acceptable.  My friend Eveline shared a resource that gave me a wonderful phrase to start day 1 with.  The resource is called “Spiritually Literal Resolutions” and it is from Spirituality and Practice. The item that grabbed my attention says:

What a wonderful affirmation!  Very serendipitous that it came to me this very day.

It’s the first day of a brand new year.  What a great time to start focusing on what we want in our lives for the coming year.  Choosing a word is important because we will focus on our word throughout the next 12 months.  Hopefully, you have chosen your word, but if not, it’s not too late.  Just think of a word that represents what you want to have most in your life.

Our mission for January is to really get to know that word.

1.  We are familiar with words, but most of us don’t take time to look them up.  There have been times when I’ve used a word and later discovered that it didn’t really mean what I thought it did.  So, the first thing we’re going to do is get a dictionary and write down all the definitions of your word.  Select the one definition that fits what you want.

My word for 2010 is acceptance.  I went to http://dictionary.com and looked it up and here’s what I found:

ac·cept·ance
n [ak-sep-tuhns] Show IPA

–noun
1.     the act of taking or receiving something offered.
2.     favorable reception; approval; favor.
3.     the act of assenting or believing: acceptance of a theory.
4.     the fact or state of being accepted or acceptable.
5.     acceptation (def. 1).
6.     Commerce.
a.     an engagement to pay an order, draft, or bill of exchange when it becomes due, as by the person on whom it is drawn.
b.     an order, draft, etc., that a person or bank has accepted as calling for payment and has thus promised to pay.

I want to focus on accepting myself right where I am now, and I want to allow that same acceptance to others as well.  So definitions 1 through 4 all seem to describe what I’m trying to attract.

2.  You can use a journal or your blog to do the exercises for this mission.  Either in your journal or blog, write the definition(s) of your word.

3.  Go to http://thesauraus.com and look up the opposites (is that antonyms?) of your word.  This helps me because I sometimes sabotage my intentions by using negative language.

The antonyms for acceptance are disbelief, disagreement, dispute and repudiation.  If I hear myself saying “I don’t believe that” about something good about myself, that’s a red flag that I’m not accepting myself.

Write the antonyms for your word and write about ways you might trip yourself with those negative words or thoughts.

Spend this month really getting to know your word.  As you study it write any observations, feelings, thoughts or discoveries you make.  The Facebook group for On My Word has an area for discussion.  I’d love to have us all sharing and encouraging each other while we go through this year, so please join that group to get the most from our mission.

As 2009 burns down to and end, many people reflect on the past year and look forward the hope that a new year brings.  I enjoy the enthusiasm that others share at this time of year.  It feels like we are all in this together.  We all want to be better people, we want to bring more joy into our lives and we all want to love in a stronger way.  If even just for a few days we are holding each others’ hands and saying, “Go for it”!

My year has been challenging but I’ve recieved so many blessings.  I can’t say I’m glad for this year to end, so I will take the hope and gifts I’ve received this year into the next.  I will remember that the hard times all brought opportunities that I am grateful for.  I will also remember that love conquers all.   My family and friends have actively expressed so much love this year.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen so much love in action before.

If you want to join me tomorrow in the “Oh My Word” mission, please leave a comment here  and join the Facebook page where we’ll be sharing.  If you’re not on Facebook and don’t want to join, I will be posting the prompts here, too, but it’s more organized over there.

The first prompts will be posted tomorrow, so be sure and choose your word so you can start the new year with lots of encouragement and enthusiasm from each other to make that word YOURS in 2010!

I am on a Mission next year and would love for you to join me.  Here’s a little background.

For many years I have selected a word  in January that I want to focus on throughout the year.  These words were things I wanted to bring into my life.  I’m not talking about words like Cadillac or husband, but more like love, harmony, awareness.  By selecting a specific word, it gave me something to focus on in order to bring my life closer to what I wanted it to be.  Having a word allowed me to look for opportunities to practice the thing I want.

I have outlined a lot of activities that we can do together to keep us focused on our word throughout 2010.  I have seen this work in my life for many years and I would like to share this exciting experience with all of you.  This is something we will share and do together. It won’t require much time and the activities are fun.  I will post a monthly focus activity.  We will do these activities in our blogs or journals or just alone with no one else.  We can share if we want, encourage each other and celebrate what we’re doing.

If you want to join me, let me know here by leaving a comment on this post.  If you aren’t already subscribed to my updates, please click the link at the top of the right column.  That will keep you updated when I post our activities throught next year.  If you use Facebook, you can join the Oh My Word! page there.  And if you use Twitter, my updates will include the hashtag #onmyword.

All you need to do for now is select the word you will focus on in 2010.  In order to do this, just be open.  Spend a few moments being still and quiet and listen.  It might not come to you immediately.  Be patient and wait.  If you don’t feel this method is working after a few days, look through books or magazines.  Pay special attention to any words that you are attracted to.  Don’t analyze it.  Just be willing to be drawn into any particular word.  If it speaks to you, then that might be your word.

My word for 2010 is acceptance.  The word I have used for several years in a row was harmony.  It took several years to bring that into my life because when I chose it I was living in anything but harmony.  It took lots of patience and time, but I did it.  I have a life of complete harmony now!!  So, I think it’s time for some serious self-acceptance.  But just as you can’t give love away unless you have it for yourself, you also can’t give acceptance to others unless you accept yourself.  That’s my mission for next year.  I want to completely accept everything about myself.  I’ve worked on change for most of my adult life.  That’s a worthy goal but after years of focusing on what’s “wrong” I’m ready to just BE!