This is an aritcle I posted last year. Since I lost all my old posts when the hacker got me, I thought I’d post this one again.

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Do you find it easier to forgive others than yourself?  I say over and over that my past is past and I won”t dwell on it.   And yet, I lie in bed trying to fall asleep and come to tears over the tail I didn”t sew back on the stuffed lion for my son who is now 29 years old!  Or I remember the time in 4th grade when I laughed at sad little girl just because everyone else was laughing.Why do we refuse to let go of our transgressions?

And why do we dwell on our own failings?  Personally, I think it’’s shame.   Guilt has a purpose.  It’’s similar to the warning lights on the dashboard of a car.  It alerts you that something needs to be fixed or changed.  But shame is totally useless.  It’’s only outcome is to rob of us the present.

So, how do we go about forgiving ourselves?  Nearly all traditions and wisdoms have a forgiveness ritual.  Creating a specific time, place and action for your forgiveness might help you see it as an event that you claim as the time you let it all go.Here are some suggested self forgiveness rituals:

1. Write down everything you can think of that you want to forgive yourself for.  Then create a way to mark the end of your holding yourself accountable for those events, such as burning the paper you wrote them on.
2. Meditate on the things you can”t forgive yourself for.  Visualize each action and then picture the hands of your God taking all those things away.  Continue to meditate on how it will feel to be free of the shame of your past.
3. Write an affirmation, phrase or mantra for yourself to change your thought patterns from one of self condemnation to one of forgiveness and love.
4. Take action by finding a way that you can give to others.  This is similar to the old traditions of giving sacrifices.  The idea of a sacrifice is to give something that moves you out of your comfort zone.  Give a little more of yourself (to your family, community or whatever you choose) than you normally do in the name of your self forgiveness. This is not to punish yourself, and it isn”t to go on forever.  Just pick one way to give something and name it your atonment.

Accept your forgiveness and move toward the beautiful life that lies ahead.

Filed under: Reflection